This personal development article is written by Eileen Edwards

 

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Our new games teacher decided to find out which of us girls could jump the highest. She explained that we would jump over a mental bar that would be raised after each jump. As each girl failed to clear the bar she would be out of the competition. The last girl in the competition would be the winner.

Immediately two girls became upset and said that they "didn't want to jump" because the metal bar might hurt their legs. They were excused and the rest of us began. I asked myself "how far am I likely to get in this competition"? I decided that I would probably stay in the competition until a little after the halfway point. There were as I remember about twenty-two of us. So as two people didn't compete that meant there would be around eight left in the competition at the time that I dropped out. I was amazingly accurate in my prediction.


I got to a little over half way before my feet hit the bar and I was out. Once out of the competition I stood around with the others observing our remaining classmates as they jumped. Eventually there were just two girls left Clare and Carmela. The rest of us stood fascinated. There was a sense of tension as we were somehow drawn into the competition between them. For jump after jump Clare and Carmela matched each other, as the bar was raised higher and higher.


I couldn't tell you who won but I do remember the competition. This happened when I was about ten years old yet I remember it decades later. Why? Because I feel I learned something very important on that day. I learned about something that we now hear referred to as the inner game. In other words the way our mental attitude impacts on our performance in all areas of life.


The two girls who refused to even take part did so because of their fears. No one hurt herself in jumping the bar so the fears of the two refusing to take part were unfounded. Yet they missed out on the fun of taking part. They were like people who won't even set themselves a goal for fear of failing. Or those who have a goal that they would love to pursue but won't go for it because they are afraid to fail. The point these individuals miss is that by refusing to compete they have failed already. In fact at some mental level they have chosen to fail.


This is not said as a criticism. My role is not to judge others. I am simply making the point that as they say in Australia " you have to be in it to win it". Regarding the two girls who refused to take part just overcoming their fears sufficiently to jump would have been a victory. Who knows they may have even found that they had a talent for the high jump.


I decided at that time and in that situation to be a little better than average. That's something that many people do in life. Because they are unaware of their almost limitless potential they limit themselves. Fortunately for me this was a decision that I made at ten years old. I've certainly revised it since.


However what was really interesting was the attitude of both Carmela and Clare. Both had a winner's attitude and in my opinion both were winners. In a way I was a winner too although not at the high jump but because of the important lesson that I learned. Winning starts with deciding to win. That's equally true whether your prize is a promotion, an educational achievement, passing your driving test or finding the love of your life.


Are you interested in developing a wining attitude and achieving your goals? Eileen is a psychologist offering a programme called Success Magnetz to people who want to achieve more.You can contact Eileen by email eileen@eileenedwards.co.uk for a free assessment to see how much more you could be achieving. Eileen also has a website http://www.eileenedwards.co.uk This site is concerned purely with relationships.