This self improvement article is written by Terry Doherty.

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Communication skills are imperative if you are to be successful in your personal and business life. According to the US Federal Emergency Management Agency in a 2005 course, the following are facts about communication.

* The average worker spends 50 percent of his or her time communicating?

* Business success is 85 percent dependent on effective communication and interpersonal skills?

* Forty-five percent of time spent communicating is listening?

* Writing represents nine percent of communication time?

* One-fourth of all workplace mistakes are the result of poor communication?

* A remarkable 75 percent of communication is nonverbal?

There are 5 basic steps in communication:

1. The sender sends a message.

2. The receiver gets the message and personalizes it. Personalization refers to the inferences dictated by your personal experiences.

3. The receiver, in turn, sends feedback and thus becomes a sender. Much of the feedback is non-verbal.

4. The original sender now becomes a receiver and reacts to the feedback.

Effective communication involves not only good verbal skills but the correct posture, body language, and careful attention to the 2nd party. The following are some key points and suggestions to improve your communication skills.

Use your body: Most of our communication occurs in non-verbal forms. The old adage that it's not what you say but how you say it is very true. Good eye contact, posture, and empathetic facial expressions will facilitate good communication.

Listen Up! Do not interrupt someone when they are speaking and ask questions if you need clarification.
Are you a good listener? Take the following self assessment quiz.

1. I try to make sure others are comfortable when we are speaking Always Never Needs Improvement

2. When listening to others, I concentrate on what they are saying and not other topics

3. I can have a productive discussion with those I disagree with.

4. Do you think about what you would like to say before someone else has finished speaking?
5. I am aware of the other persons body language when speaking.

6. I wait until the other person has finished speaking before I speak.

Most misunderstandings are due to one of the 3 following problems that occur when listening and speaking.

* Mental state: If you are stressed you are going to sound stressed even if the conversation is benign. Also emotional problems or moods play a large role in how we communicate. Sometimes we need to recognize this ii ourselves and sometimes with other people. It's helpful to recognize that it's not personal and try to communicate at a different time instead of getting angry.

* Being defensive will only lead to problems. This typically occurs when we are insecure in a situation. If you are speaking with someone who is being defensive, try calming down and work to make them more comfortable.

* Picking apart statements to be correct. Listen to the whole person and statement. Don't pick up on one or two things you disagree with or know to be false and attack. You might win the argument but future communication is greatly hindered.

Neuro-Linguistic Programming (NLP) is the study of communicative behavior, perspective, and perception. Much of our recent information about communication comes from this field. NLP has been useful in treating phobias. Many report progress within 30 minutes of the first session. Milton Erickson, the father of modern hypnotherapy, has a model that focuses on linguistics, other models and modalities focus on the physiological responses, our personal filters, and modes of cultural issues in communication.

Terry Doherty works all over the UK working extensively with individual and business clients helping them to stop smoking, manage weight, manage stress, become more confident and help create generative change. Terry uses the latest techniques of hypnosis, NLP and life coaching skills for profound change. Contact him at http://www.mind-works.co.uk